Love, Sex & Rock N Roll
So we begin the new series tonight! We'll spend the next 9 weeks talking about love and sex. We want to look at what our culture teaches us about these important issues (thus the 'Rock N Roll' phrase!), and how that differs from God's best intentions for us.
I also want this to be an opportunity for you to ask all the questions you would never ask anywhere else... or maybe you feel like you never got a good answer to... or maybe you got an answer but just want to see what my answer is. So feel free to drop any question about the issues of love and sex here (you can even do it anonymously if you don't want you name attached to it!)and I'll give you my straight up honest answer!
~ Chris
posted by The Carters at 10:25 AM
11 Comments:
Alright well I was just going to ask this question in person but I guess I'll make you feel good about this blog and drop it here!
So you were saying a couple weeks ago that there are 'steps' in a relationship, like handholding to hugging/holding to kissing to making out, and that's all driven by lust and not being 'satisfied' with where you're at, I guess. Well if you continue down that path you'll get to sex. Now let's say you get married and you're still a virgin, and you have sex. Does it satisfy all the lust you may have had leading up to it? Are you just completely satisfied, left with no other desires and completely 'filled'? I guess that's all, sorry if it's a stupid question, and let me know if it didn't make much sense
wow thats deep,
I wonder that too.
when you get to marrige is there ever a let-down? like it wasn't as: deep, satisfying, fun, exciting, (you fill in the blank) as you had expected?
can a person be over anxious?
but, I guess if it is a binding of two people, an act that must be extremely intamate, and encouraged by God, I guess, when handled properly, it has to be the most satisfying act on this planet. (does THAT make sense?)
Good question(s)...
Some people are concerned over married sex not being good/satisfying. Here's a couple thoughts:
1. The more sex you have before marriage, the better chance you have of making this concern true. Think about it. The reality is that you will compare your spouse to all the other sex partners you've had. That not only sets up potential dissatisfaction for you, but real trust issues for your spouse. They will constantly be wondering if you are thinking about that other sex partner while you're with your spouse.
2. This might sound weird, but think it through with me. If the only person you ever have sex with is your spouse,so you have no other sexual experience, then how could married sex be un-satisfying since you have nothing to compare it to. It would be "the best sex you ever had" and you would be thrilled with it.
3. Another thing to understand is that sex is not an 'activity' as much as it is a 'journey'. It's not like taking a test, an event you just do once a week. It's more like exploring a new hobby, or a new video game, or a new town. Each time you "venture out" is a a new opportunity to see and do more. Marriage is the perfect place to explore this sexual journey, and why God commands sex to be enjoyed only in marriage. And married sex gets better over time. The longer you experience life, trust, struggles, pain, happiness, reality, success, etc the better the sex will be-- because sex is directly tied to health of the relationship. That's one reason sex outside the protective barriers of marriage is so emotionally painful. Unmarried sex cheapens it to an act, or an event. Sex is journey to be explored with your spouse!
Did I answer the question?
Any thoughts from ya'll out there?
Wow. I don't think I'll be able to understand until I'm married I guess aha.
Wait, but I want you to understand. What part doesn't make sense?
Actually I've read it over a few times and it's made sense, but what I'm thinking is that I won't be able to understand the whole 'journey' thing until I'm married because I really can't find anything to compare it to, or something similar. I always viewed sex as more of an 'activity,' and that the 'activity' of it is just 2000000x better in marriage than in than in any other relationship. But now I'm finding the legitimate reason(or one of them) why sex in marriage is best, which is because of the 'journey,' not the 'activity.' Does THAT make sense?
Yep!
Try this analogy on:
Anyone could learn the intro riff for 'Enter Sandman' and play it out on one string. Anyone can do it, and it's alright. It might be fun, and impress some friends. But what if, instead of learning one riff from a tab book, BB King (or Eric Clapton, or Yngwie Malmsteen, Joe Satriani, or some other HUGE guitar legend) told you they would personally tutor you every day for the rest of your life (mind you it would be only you they tutor, no other students). It would no longer be about playing one riff you swiped out of a book-- it wouldn't be about the event-- instead it would become an adventure/a journey, a chance to drain everything you could from this guy. And you're guitar playing would become phenomenally better than the kid who swiped "Enter Sandman" from a tab book.
Sex outside of marriage is like playing a riff from a book, it's alright (impress some friends?). Married sex is like this far better adventure.
Ha okay now THAT makes sense :)
Alright Chris, here's another question, and it's not really about sex, but here it goes.
Last night you said that people can't change (and I think what we came down to is that people can't change, but God can change them?). And although we were talking about one person changing another person (like the foolish Christian in the relationship trying to change the 'Atheist' or whatever in the relationship), does that also mean that people can't change themselves? Like I can't really change, even if I want to?
no, you can change and become someone different...or change bad habits or patterns. And Jesus certainly changed people (Saul to Paul for instance). But when it comes to dating a person (or considering marrying a person) and assuming that they will "grow up" or "get right with God" or "be nicer" after you get married, then you will be in for a lot of trouble. that's what I mean when I use the literary device of 'Rabbinic Hyperbole' (saying something overly strong or in an exaggerated way to make a point. The Jewish teachers used it all the time!)
Ha alright, I thought so, I just wanted to make sure.
Post a Comment
<< Home